FIRST LOOK

My eyes were searching those couple of glittering diamonds whose brightness mesmerized my senses, those depths of ocean which penetrated my heart to run through the veins, those height of mountains which increased my desire to get them. I was searching for my first heartbeat, my first emptiness of mind, my first loss of senses, my first love…..

I saw her for the first time near the door which opens for my future i.e. the door of education. Was she opening the door or closing it? Was she helping me through or obstructing me? I don’t know and will never know because I am still searching those hands of softness near that hard piece of wood well craved to move against my wave of desire.

I saw her passing by, standing, sitting, laughing, weeping, reading, praying, whispering but never saw her looking at my infinite eyes, my fast heartbeat, my sad smile, my longing and my desire. I wish to have a couple of eye-magnets with me but of no use. My wait continues but in vain. My breathless mind went inert but in vain. My pump house of body went slow but indeed in vain.

I still remember the first view of that well-craved piece of marvel covered by snow, that smile like rose-petals, that eye worth my life, that lips as if a couple of white pigeons kissing each other became red by my blood.

My eyes worth a lump of coal is still searching for that moon which can never be seen in the daylight, for that tree which can never donate fruit in autumn, for that river which can never be flooded in summer, for that idol which can never speak, for that handicapped athlete which can never run, for that heart of stone which can never beat.

But the strength of my desire is so much that even the storm of impossibility saluted it and consoled my heart. Is this desire worth the respect? No , obviously not because the desire never lead to reality and the world of dreams, which is on the other side of the mirror of destiny, always engage you into it and hence restricting your path to the enlightened future. What should I do now? Feeling of desire or the reality of fire????